Yes sir, you better fucking believe Judo master Black Belt Jones be digging this shit!  Go girl, get that thang up in there.  Don’t be shy, there’s plenty of room in that there hole.  I know, I once buried a pair of nunchucks in this bitch’s ass; they never smelt the same again, but I tell you what, it was mother fucking worth it.

Proctology homework, it's the shits

That’s the beauty of the anus, son, that the shit goes back to the same size after all is said and stuck (or at– (continue reading…)

You better fuckin’ believe Black Belt Jones is all over this retro shit!  That’s where I’m mother fucking from, bitch.  I love it!  I love it!  The 70s, that’s when things where 100% real, son; real ladies, real bush, real tits, real barely legal Betties, and real kung fucking fu.  Here’s Diamond Collection 9, a real boner jam, for reals.

Fuck, look at little red riding hood here, krumping that cock as if it were water and her pussy be on fire.

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Come on!  As if you wouldn’t smash mad snatch if you were in a position of power in the porn industry.  That’s all those dudes do.  Why do you think they get into the business in the first place: to snake their cocks down eager cash-strapped hottie hole.  It’s not prostitution; it’s making movies.  So next time you approach a hooker, don’t say you’ll pay her for sex, ask if she’d like to model in your POV porno; and if she’s an undercover cop, you’re in the clear (I think).

Anywho, check out this clip from Barely Legal POV 4.  Now that’s a happy rump.  Best casting call ever!  Ah, what a beautiful age: she just turned old enough to fuck on film and she’s taking to it with all her youthful enthusiasm– (continue reading…)

As you know, not all breasts are created equal; furthermore, not all breasts confront Father Time and gravity with the same tenacity, elasticity.  This is why, when comparing the virtues of different sets of tits, it’s best to make the assessment shortly after they become legal.  Pick ‘em while they’re fresh, my Uncle Fart always used to say.

We're here about intern job

So, now that we’ve established the obvious, let us take a hard look at the above foursome.  Personally, I generally agree with the maxim: the bigger, the better.  That being said, a smallish pair has its advantages (or so I’m told).  I want– (continue reading…)

I like looking at a beaver and it being a beaver, not merely some honeyed slit.  Give me bush, let that bush start two inches below the bellybutton, wrap around the gash, fan-out around the asshole, and  stretch halfway up to the small of her back.  And let it stink like a salty armpit all the way around.  That’s was sex is about, dropping pretenses and going feral.

Take a good long look at this girl’s hairy undercarriage (from ATK Natural & Hairy 10).  Now imagine what this strip of heavenly delight would be like if it– (continue reading…)

After seeing this chip, you may want to spay or neuter yourself to spare yourself from a lifetime of desire and disappointment.  FUCK, look at this little lassie work her junk! Shit this perfect should be a crime against humanity, seeing that now that I’ve seen flawlessness, there no way of unseeing it.

I guess I’m just going to have to get used to walk around with this iron-bodied cock, 24/7.  Man, what I would give to play a little jizz Plinko on that top shelf rump.  Yep, she’s– (continue reading…)

It’s counter intuitive, but pornstars don’t necessarily give the best blowjobs.  I’m willing to wager every penny I’ll ever make that the best cock-smoker on the planet is some overweight homebody, farting up the couch some place nobody would expect, like in Fargo, North Dakota or Hohhot, Inner Mongolia.

So when you hear the term “amateur,” by no means does that equate to poor quality; in fact, in most case what you’ll get is top calibre dirty.  Case in point, take a– (continue reading…)

Men have a uniform: it’s called the suit.  At some point in history, we were denied the myriad of choices that women have when it comes to formal wear.  We can choose color and cut, and tie of course, but that’s about it.  The ladies, on the other hand, can pretty much wear any blasted thing they want, as long as some European dude somewhere, at some point, has deeded it fashionable.  This being said, if were up to me, females would have a standard uniform just like us males.  And yes, it would definitely involve a kilt and pigtails, like this girl here from Dirty Goddess Volume 4, Part 2.

Private and catholic schools seem to be on the same page here as me, most enforcing strict guidelines on the matter.  Would it really be that hard to expand– (continue reading…)

No one likes someone who’s spoiled rotten, like this dude here who’s having his entire package lovingly worked by a threesome of smokin’ barely legals.  It’s just not fucking fair.  Why should this one fella get to hog all of that hottie attention?  Well, it might have something to do with that mansion he’s in.  It might also have to do with the fact that there is no god.

Seriously now, tell me what I need to do for one of these über sucks?  I’ll do it.  Free climb the Empire State Building, done!  Run a marathon while drinking my weight in hot sauce, no problem.  Name the deed, and I’m there.  I mean it.  NAME IT!  Anything for an 18 & Eager cluster blow—anything!

Jesus, I think I can see an ovary!  Don’t get me wrong, I love spread wide open vagina—in fact, it’s what I have listed as my religion on Facebook—but sometimes even a confirmed pervert such as myself gets a little squeamish when staring into the depths of the gynecological mire.

Honey, you might want to put some Visine on that

The above being said, I would still bury my everything into that crimson fissure, starting with my nose.  It’s the hardwired– (continue reading…)