All men are born with a pair of very apt masturbatory tools: they are called hands.  Sure, we use these instruments of cock-caress for other purposes too–building civilizations, opening pickle jars, operating machine guns—but god mostly intended them for two things: scratching balls and jerking shaft.

The above being said, all men enjoy variety, especially when it comes to busting nuts.  And yes, sometimes Palm-ala just won’t cut it.  That’s why one must MacGyver it when Mr. Thick Dick so demands.  Women go for the vegetable crisper in these situations; we men head to the garage.  I’m not– (continue reading…)