That’s one big dick and that’s one tiny girl with her proportionately tiny asshole.  Yep, this blonde petite from All Star Call Girls 3 is gonna feel this in the morning.  Talk about a hard day at the office.  I wonder what’s she was thinking while this scene was being shot?  This fucking sucks!?  Or: Now I know what it feels like to be a kabob!?

Man, what a pooper trooper (I think I just invented myself some urban slang–hehe, pooper trooper)… (continue reading…)

Here’s yet another example that a woman’s asshole is one-size-fits-all! For the past ten years I’ve been trying my best to convince my wife that this is the case.  Sadly, she doesn’t buy my story despite all of the evidence I bring to the dinner table.  Come on, if it’s anything that porn has taught me: there is no such thing as too tight of a fit!

I know I’m not alone in this.  Millions of men are denied anal rights everyday; frankly, it’s one of the great tragedies of our time.  Clearly diminutive lady sphincters were made for über textured monster cocks.  Case in– (continue reading…)

Defying peg and grove logic, some petite babes enjoy their monster cocks in their diminutive stinker.   Though counter-intuitive, it somehow works.  Sure, lube has a lot to do with it, as does warming and working-up to the big penetration, but my question still stands: where does all that fat dick go?

And some of these schlong rectal thermometers are truly mammoth, both terrifying long and tremendously girthy, as seen above in Anal Perversions.  Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these sausages were a third– (continue reading…)

Men have a uniform: it’s called the suit.  At some point in history, we were denied the myriad of choices that women have when it comes to formal wear.  We can choose color and cut, and tie of course, but that’s about it.  The ladies, on the other hand, can pretty much wear any blasted thing they want, as long as some European dude somewhere, at some point, has deeded it fashionable.  This being said, if were up to me, females would have a standard uniform just like us males.  And yes, it would definitely involve a kilt and pigtails, like this girl here from Dirty Goddess Volume 4, Part 2.

Private and catholic schools seem to be on the same page here as me, most enforcing strict guidelines on the matter.  Would it really be that hard to expand– (continue reading…)

First thing’s first, this picture has not been altered by me or anybody else.  That waist and bust line actually belongs to Christina Ricci!  Unfucking believable!  Doesn’t she look like a babe from the cover of a Heavy Metal magazine? Somebody quick, put a giant laser gun in her hands!

Anime cartoon character, maybe?

And look at those legs, not the twigs of an über skinny girl, but the well muscled limbs of a personal trainer.  I’m floored!  I’ve had a thing for Christina for as long as– (continue reading…)

For those not steeped in medieval weaponry, a claymore is a sword most famously used by William Wallace (as portrayed by Mel Gibson in Braveheart) to get the stinkin’ English off of his front porch.  If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, well fuck, you sir have a day to go watch Braveheart, no excuses.

Inches shy of being a midget, reality shy of being your woman

Braveheart is a mandatory man movie; see it or hang up your nuts and start wearing dresses.   Anywho, to go– (continue reading…)

Yeah, she be smokin’, but how much hotter would she be with a pair of double DDs strapped to her hard body frame?  Blat blat!  If you be thinking: out of this world, you son, are my homey.  “Make it round,” to quoth the immortal Sir Mix A Lot.

Jean cutoffs... these ones get a pass

Yeah son, there’s a place for small breasted women too, just not on my damn backyard.  Ya gotta pimp that shit out, add some– (continue reading…)