The below clip is taken from the original Deep Throat, which is perhaps the most famous porno film of all time—not to mention the most profitable (adjusted for inflation, it has grossed over 600 MILLION dollars).   And you know what, this shit is still awesome: funny, strange, kinky, and yes, good for a hard crank.

Straight up, Linda Lovelace–not shown above–was a fucking sweetheart, sweet and cute and dirty and had no bottom to her mouth.  What she did with a foot long cock is still a high water mark for extreme blowjobs; in fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her equal, which is saying a lot seeing that I watch dozens of BJs everyday…  I need help. I need an another set of balls.

What do you do when the tank is empty?  You fill it up.  That’s logic you can’t argue with, and what’s true for cars must also be true for women, especially women who are also measured by tonnage.  You find a fatty with an empty pussy or anus…  Do I really need to spell it out for you, fellas?

The above clip taken from Fat & Fifties is a perfect example of working hole not for bragging rights, not for ego, not your country, honor, money, food or any other such non-sense: it’s working hole– (continue reading…)

Happy Holidays, folks!  What a great day Christmas eve is: the turkey is cooking in the oven, presents are waiting under the tree, your glass is topped-off the moment you take the slightest sip, and it looks like your no-good Uncle has passed out early, which is great news ‘cause his old-ass wife is a real cocking sucking slut and you’re about to get a slice.

Nothing says Merry Ho Ho like banging the shit out of some mature babe in heat.  Forget about the egg-nog, pump her full of man-nog, and sit back and watch the Christmas cheer ooze down her legs in lovely gobs of goo.  Then– (continue reading…)

You’re not proud of the fact that you bang your buddy’s mom ever fucking chance you get, that you pump her so full of spunk that when she walks she leaks cream like a Boston cream donut slowly being crushed in a vice.  You simply can’t help yourself; her tits were made for fucking and that just what you’ll do.

As we can clearly see in the above clip from Hooter World, milfs do the boner good.  Sure, they might have a few rough corners, a wrinkle here, a polyp there, but on the whole you can’t go wrong with these seasoned– (continue reading…)

It’s no secret that when a woman reaches a certain age—say late thirties, early forties—she undergoes a wondrous transformation; like a man becoming a werewolf, what civilization she may have had is quickly cast aside and the beast within is unapologetically unleashed.  She ceases being a soccer mom or a library technician or a checkout lady and is then a feral cock gobbler, a single-minded animal concerned only with balls and jizz and her own throbbing vagina.

I’ve seen it happen time and time again.  As seen in the above clip from Cougars Strike 3, what was once a sandwich making, grocery shopping, bedroom cleaning middle-aged woman is now and forevermore a young man stalking, cock devouring, cum gargling über skank.  Naturally, as irony– (continue reading…)

I’m all for multitasking, but I draw the line at hacking a butt while busting a nut.  It’s all about focus.  How am I to envision an anal bang Xanadu if I taking hot eye-tokes from the cigarette dangling from my mouth with ash falling all over the place, mixing with cum to form a nasty grey cement-like substance, one which is simply impossible to scrape off by traditional means.

The above being said, I do understand that “sexy smoking” is a fetish for some, and I’m not one to judge; I’m just caught up on the logistics of the whole thing.  It seems both messy and dangerous.  The last thing one– (continue reading…)

She’s old, has wrinkles, is nearsighted as hell, and has a beaver which can only be describes as wanting—but fuck, what can you do—your best friend’s mom needs hard dickings too.  Who are you not to give her the pole ride of the century?  Sure, you might feel a little sheepish the next time you see her.  Hey, that’s what booze is for.

The above clip is from the very frisky German film OMA 182: Die Alte Sau!—whatever the fuck that means.  My guess it translates into something to do with loose skin, random-ass hairs, and failing teeth.  In any case, I’m– (continue reading…)

So, you’re no Casanova: that doesn’t mean you can’t get laid or get a quality blowjob.  Sure, you’re gonna have to cut some corners, go a little older, or fatter, or even toothless, as displayed in the below clip from 40+ and Humming.  Frankly, in my books, toothless is definitely the way to go given the option.  And I’ll tell you why:

Well, I really have only one point to make here: no sharp objects.  Any dude that has ever had his cock sucked will tell you, once in a while your sensitive dick head will hit or perhaps scrap hard enamel.  Hey, you know what I’m talking– (continue reading…)

Sure, she’s in her 40s, but gosh, she still rides the pole like she’s fresh from the barely legal oven.  Look at her grind that cock, leaving nothing to chance when it comes to busting her clam.  Fuck, buddy here might some road rash after she’d done with him.  I guess they don’t call ‘em cougars for nothing—wild fucking pussy indeed.

This clip is from Girls over 40, which seems like a strange title to me.  They’re 40; these girls are pretty much women now.  That being said, they definitely have– (continue reading…)

Black Belt Jones ‘ere, drying my dicks off with a towel; and I tells ya, dis rag just went from clean to throw-out.  Man, does the Milf get the pussy wet!  I don’t tink me balls have ever been twat washed like dat!  She even be cumming more than me, and I cum like a mother fucking monster.  Where did she learn to bust clam like fountain?  I guess experience counts for something, no?

Yep, I took her from every angle, but I ended me nut like this feller ‘ere from Supersize Tits 13, deep doggie then straight to facial.   My forty-something loved lapping up my karate cum.  She loved it so– (continue reading…)