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Tag: hardcore

Ass: The reason I get up in the morning

by on May.11, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Sometimes I have to remind myself why I do this, work in porn, when there are so many opportunities in the manual labor and data entry industries—then it hits me like a Van Damme roundhouse kick to the jaw—I do it for the almighty rump.  Ass, thou art as beautiful as thou art divine.

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Take this clip from Her First Anal Sex Volume 11, for example.  Just look at this sublime rear work itself against steely cock and happy balls.  This is the reason I get up in the morning, brush my teeth and wash my face, resist the urge to booze before breakfast: bum, do what you do and I’ll do what I do.

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Mother and daughter bond over a bone

by on Feb.11, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Have you ever had a girlfriend who had a hot mom, a milf of a stellar sexual quality?  I have.  And trust me when I tell you, at the time there was nothing in this world that I wanted more than to bang the both of them in one nasty session.  Kinky, I know.  Still, that’s one fantasy that still tops my bucket list.

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I’m curious to know if the situation ever actually presented itself would I be able to rise to occasion and not be bothered by the obvious moral quagmire.    The above clip from Fuck My Mom & Me 8, although great– (continue reading…)

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Love the montage!

by on Jan.26, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

The only thing I dig more profoundly than a solid sex scene are dozens of sex scenes spliced together by the magic of modern editing.  What can I say, I’m the product of the music video generation; and thus, I likes my porn like I likes my training sequences: progressive, blistering quick, brutal, and time-lapsed.

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The above clip from Bottom Dweller Orgies is a good example of what I look for in a hardcore montage: many angles, many players, various penetrations, all presented at a decent pace.  My ideal– (continue reading…)

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Batter’s Up!

by on Jan.18, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

You gotta respect a gal that can use a baseball for a dildo—pretty fucking hardcore!  Who cares about a few splinters and an eternally loose pussy when there are overstuffed orgasms to be had?  This blonde from Shove It Up is a living example of the “slippery slope” masturbation theorem.

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She probably started whacking with her wee pinky finger, than her middle finger, then many fingers, then vegetables, then dildos, then larger dildos, then house hold objects, and now she’s in the garage, stuffing– (continue reading…)

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I don’t think her asshole will ever be the same!

by on Jan.14, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

That’s one big dick and that’s one tiny girl with her proportionately tiny asshole.  Yep, this blonde petite from All Star Call Girls 3 is gonna feel this in the morning.  Talk about a hard day at the office.  I wonder what’s she was thinking while this scene was being shot?  This fucking sucks!?  Or: Now I know what it feels like to be a kabob!?

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Man, what a pooper trooper (I think I just invented myself some urban slang–hehe, pooper trooper)… (continue reading…)

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Double Vag: the sexual full house

by on Jan.05, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Romance is dead; it has been replaced by double vag, and you know what?  I couldn’t be happier.  Flowers, long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners, the missionary position, these things are for pussies.  Fuck that noise!  I’d gladly take an über crammed cunt busting sideways with steely cocks any fucking day of the week over real intimacy and all that horseshit.

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The above being said, I don’t think I could personally share a femme hole with another dude, my dick skin smacking and rubbing against his, but I sure don’t mind watching that action go down.  I particularly enjoy– (continue reading…)

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Skin slapping, ass rippling, tit flopping fun with flab

by on Jan.04, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Tis no mother fucking secret, BB Jones likes his women like he likes his cars: with plenty of horse power and with big big trunks—‘cause yous knows I be putting my huge dicks up in theres.  It’s actually my new year’s resolution, plough more hefty hotties, leaving no juicy hole unsowed.

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As you can see from the above clip from Big Fat Cream Pie 8, the larger lady loves a hard dicking.  And anal is a mother fucking given, son.  Just last night I had a round one over for a little 69 action, and before– (continue reading…)

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Ass to Mouth, more than a mouthful

by on Dec.18, 2009, under Adult Video Reviews

If eating delicious garlic-laden Italian food gives you halitosis, I can only imagine what eating a rectum scrubbed dick must do to your breath.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that post-ass-to-mouth mouth is not going to be all gumdrops and peppermint; on the contrary, I’d wager it’ll smell like the babe in question just ate a shit shepherd’s pie with extra onions and corn.

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Then again, what do I know?  I guess it all depends on how clean the colon in question happens to be.  The girl in the above clip from Heinies 4 looks like she keeps a tidy ship.  I’m sure her face would– (continue reading…)

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Skull Fuck-Off: A Best Friend Rivalry

by on Dec.15, 2009, under Adult Video Reviews

So there you are, having yet another argument with your top bud about who screws throat the best.  Naturally, you think you have the edge, having a slightly bigger cock with the added bonus of its entire length being particularly gifted with popped veins.  Your pal counters this argument citing technique, and to his credit, he’s got some moves.  There’s only one way to settle this disagreement: skull fuck-off.

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The above clip from Riveted Rectums is a perfect example of a quality skull fuck-off.  See the no-holds-bared pummeling of the oral cavity.  See the competitiveness, the feral fight to be number one.  Who will win, well, that’s hard– (continue reading…)

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Fun with Fat

by on Dec.12, 2009, under Adult Video Reviews

It’s soft, warm, dimpled, and forgiving; frankly, it beats the hell out of me why 250 pounds of randy lady is generally avoided by distinguishing cocks far and wide.  A roly-poly spin in the sack is as fun as it is ball voiding, to be desired and to be greatly cherished.

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When providence doles out those loving rolls, you thank your lucky stars and dive in face first, like the dude in the above clip from Plump & Stacked.  Sure, you’ve gotta be carefully when tangoing with a heavy hitter, be– (continue reading…)

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