Tis no mother fucking secret, BB Jones likes his women like he likes his cars: with plenty of horse power and with big big trunks—‘cause yous knows I be putting my huge dicks up in theres.  It’s actually my new year’s resolution, plough more hefty hotties, leaving no juicy hole unsowed.

As you can see from the above clip from Big Fat Cream Pie 8, the larger lady loves a hard dicking.  And anal is a mother fucking given, son.  Just last night I had a round one over for a little 69 action, and before– (continue reading…)

If eating delicious garlic-laden Italian food gives you halitosis, I can only imagine what eating a rectum scrubbed dick must do to your breath.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that post-ass-to-mouth mouth is not going to be all gumdrops and peppermint; on the contrary, I’d wager it’ll smell like the babe in question just ate a shit shepherd’s pie with extra onions and corn.

Then again, what do I know?  I guess it all depends on how clean the colon in question happens to be.  The girl in the above clip from Heinies 4 looks like she keeps a tidy ship.  I’m sure her face would– (continue reading…)

So there you are, having yet another argument with your top bud about who screws throat the best.  Naturally, you think you have the edge, having a slightly bigger cock with the added bonus of its entire length being particularly gifted with popped veins.  Your pal counters this argument citing technique, and to his credit, he’s got some moves.  There’s only one way to settle this disagreement: skull fuck-off.

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The above clip from Riveted Rectums is a perfect example of a quality skull fuck-off.  See the no-holds-bared pummeling of the oral cavity.  See the competitiveness, the feral fight to be number one.  Who will win, well, that’s hard– (continue reading…)

It’s soft, warm, dimpled, and forgiving; frankly, it beats the hell out of me why 250 pounds of randy lady is generally avoided by distinguishing cocks far and wide.  A roly-poly spin in the sack is as fun as it is ball voiding, to be desired and to be greatly cherished.

When providence doles out those loving rolls, you thank your lucky stars and dive in face first, like the dude in the above clip from Plump & Stacked.  Sure, you’ve gotta be carefully when tangoing with a heavy hitter, be– (continue reading…)

She’s old, has wrinkles, is nearsighted as hell, and has a beaver which can only be describes as wanting—but fuck, what can you do—your best friend’s mom needs hard dickings too.  Who are you not to give her the pole ride of the century?  Sure, you might feel a little sheepish the next time you see her.  Hey, that’s what booze is for.

The above clip is from the very frisky German film OMA 182: Die Alte Sau!—whatever the fuck that means.  My guess it translates into something to do with loose skin, random-ass hairs, and failing teeth.  In any case, I’m– (continue reading…)

Have you ever been upstaged?  Well, if you haven’t, let me tell you, it sucks!  The below clip from the appropriately named Hey Gang! Teach Me To Bang! 2 is a shining example of being, well, outshined.

As you can see, buddy first up to bat is having some troubles keeping his erection: maybe it’s the pressure of fucking on film, perhaps he just blew his load a moment ago, or maybe his lack-luster hard-on is the result of sticking his dick in a hole still warm from the last dick it just ate a second ago.  Whatever– (continue reading…)

There are two major types of threesomes: one is badass, the other is somewhat less badass.  Naturally, you want the former over that latter.  The below clip from 1 Whore + 1 More = 2 Chicks on 1 Dick 2 (how’s that for a title) exemplifies a textbook BADASS threesome.  Straight up, it’s a spitting, snarling, cursing, thrusting clusterfuck, and it’s hard to tell where body begins and another ends.  Top Marks.

The other kind of threesome, the lesser one, is characterized by politeness, shyness, and general sheepishness.  Sure, it’s still badass, threesomes being inherently so, but it lacks the no-holds-bared awesomeness of– (continue reading…)

So you and your buddy pool your money together and get an escort.  In an ideal situation you’d each have your own, but hey, times are tough with the economy and all.  Good news, you so happen to be on the ball that day and call ANAL, leaving vaginal for your friend by rights.  The escort quickly puts the kibosh on your backdoor intentions, seeing that she’s getting the same pay for twice the work.  She’s calling the shots, and declares that she’ll blow the both of you, and for being cheap, it must be a concurrent double suck.

Here’s your options: send her back from whence she came and deal with your dry, disappointed, and somewhat surly cock; or, put your mixed feelings aside and accept her offer, knowing that your schlong will surely bash against penis bulkhead not– (continue reading…)

Defying peg and grove logic, some petite babes enjoy their monster cocks in their diminutive stinker.   Though counter-intuitive, it somehow works.  Sure, lube has a lot to do with it, as does warming and working-up to the big penetration, but my question still stands: where does all that fat dick go?

And some of these schlong rectal thermometers are truly mammoth, both terrifying long and tremendously girthy, as seen above in Anal Perversions.  Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these sausages were a third– (continue reading…)

As a mother fucking ninja and as a mother fucking black man, I appreciate platinum blondes on so many levels, son.  First off, as a triple-black black-belt, I dig these girlie’s poetic motion, their limberness and general ass-kickery.  And as a black man, I value their lily ying to my low swinging yang.

Just look at this little Philly here from Sweet Little Baby Faces 2 takin’ ‘er medicines like a champ.  My only mother fucking criticism has to be dat de dick is in de wrong mothering fucking hole.  You know if– (continue reading…)