Why go through the trouble of cooking food on the grill, when you can cook up some good old fashioned gangbanging with your neighbours instead.  Handing your wife or girlfriend over to horny Steve from next door, now that’s what I call being a generous host.  That fact that he’ll fuck her in the ass, well, you’ve just become a veritable saint.

As seen in the above clip from Cream Pie Orgy, group sex is all the rage at today’s cocktail gatherings.  What’s a couple of dicks and cunts between friends?  Yeah, those jizz stains on the couch will come– (continue reading…)

Boy, times sure have changed.  Today when people get together for a gangbang, they show up wearing little more than jeans and a T-shirt.  Where’s the decorum in that, the sexiness, the class, the sense of occasion?  Even in the eighties, the most tawdry of decades, folks had the good judgment to fix themselves up for an orgy.  Sadly, we’ve lost that.

Just look at the outfits in the above clip from Golden Age of Porn: Candy Samples: these individuals were the best of both worlds—wild and civilized, feral and domesticated, and as any– (continue reading…)

Have you ever been upstaged?  Well, if you haven’t, let me tell you, it sucks!  The below clip from the appropriately named Hey Gang! Teach Me To Bang! 2 is a shining example of being, well, outshined.

As you can see, buddy first up to bat is having some troubles keeping his erection: maybe it’s the pressure of fucking on film, perhaps he just blew his load a moment ago, or maybe his lack-luster hard-on is the result of sticking his dick in a hole still warm from the last dick it just ate a second ago.  Whatever– (continue reading…)

There are two major types of threesomes: one is badass, the other is somewhat less badass.  Naturally, you want the former over that latter.  The below clip from 1 Whore + 1 More = 2 Chicks on 1 Dick 2 (how’s that for a title) exemplifies a textbook BADASS threesome.  Straight up, it’s a spitting, snarling, cursing, thrusting clusterfuck, and it’s hard to tell where body begins and another ends.  Top Marks.

The other kind of threesome, the lesser one, is characterized by politeness, shyness, and general sheepishness.  Sure, it’s still badass, threesomes being inherently so, but it lacks the no-holds-bared awesomeness of– (continue reading…)

So you and your buddy pool your money together and get an escort.  In an ideal situation you’d each have your own, but hey, times are tough with the economy and all.  Good news, you so happen to be on the ball that day and call ANAL, leaving vaginal for your friend by rights.  The escort quickly puts the kibosh on your backdoor intentions, seeing that she’s getting the same pay for twice the work.  She’s calling the shots, and declares that she’ll blow the both of you, and for being cheap, it must be a concurrent double suck.

Here’s your options: send her back from whence she came and deal with your dry, disappointed, and somewhat surly cock; or, put your mixed feelings aside and accept her offer, knowing that your schlong will surely bash against penis bulkhead not– (continue reading…)

Art is a personal thing. Some people enjoy realism, others the abstract; me, I’m all about a giant heap of naked bitches, the more the merrier. Take the below photo for example, I’ll take this over a Rembrandt or Picasso any fucking day of the week. Why? Because I can masturbate to every fucking inch of its canvass, or, standing back, I can toss to it in its entirety.

One, two, three: NOW QUEEF!

Yes, I liken high human achievement with spankable vagina.  I think as a standard of beauty many-nude-ladies is hard to beat.  And scale is important.  Two nude hotties will always trump one nude hottie, and– (continue reading…)

They don’t call envy the green monster for nothing.  A beast it truly is, and green, like the Hulk, smashing through shirts and buildings alike.  Envy will tear a man up inside until there’s nothing left but hate, depression, and ultimately, despair.  That’s why when you come across something you want—that you want so fucking bad—that somebody else has, just let it go.  Holding on to that shit, well, it’ll kill ya.

Don’t worry, his third Genie wish will definitely backfire

The above being said, freeing that seed of envy from your pith isn’t as easy as it sounds.  I find that the best way to cope with this shit is to drink copious amounts of alcohol.  Be a booze hound  the– (continue reading…)

…you find your wife being gangbanged by a room full of hairy creeps, as seen here in this clip from Sodomania… and then some!!! Or is it?  Sure, your initial response would be to hit the road, but hold on there, fella.  Think about that for a second; specifically, think about the mad pussy you’d get as a swinger.  She would owe it to you to get you laid.   And those sex clubs, you can’t get into those places without a loose lady on your arm.

Hell, she could be your own personal pimp, setting you up with a harem of horny babes as if you were a fucking Sultan.  Plus, you still have a wife for, you know, wife things like family– (continue reading…)

These days I can’t go for more than six hours without delving, dick-in-hand, into the seedy reality which is popularly known as the Double Penetration multiverse.  What can I say, I’m hooked on the shit.  And can you blame me; this action is arguably the hardest fare that porn has to offer, as is clearly seen here in Slam It Even Harder.

Here’s the strange thing: I personally wouldn’t have the maturity to be a third of one of these glorious happenings.  Simply put, I’d be too weirded-out by my balls slapping against another spanking pair, despite my cock’s inner she-bum glory.  Thrown into one of these situations, I’m 99% sure I wouldn’t be able to maintain a boner, let alone drill out the holes of some comely cum-hound.  Yet, here I am, ‘bout to bust nova-nuts to the very thing I wouldn’t be able to hack.  A contradiction, I remain.

You and your buddies are going to town on some bus station skank—it’s your classic gangbang scenario—don’t be a lazy fuck: take off those gawd damn white sports socks.  Dude, it’s just bad form to leave them on.  Everybody else is totally naked.  Sure, your little toes might be a tad chilly, but man, have some couth.

What’s worse, buddy is a professional—it’s fucking show time, opening scene for Gangbang Squad 4—and still, still he has his socks on.  Unforgivable.  Where’s the– (continue reading…)