Innocence, ‘tis a lovely thing; alas, it is not as fine as plundering pristine pink with the Lucifer’s long and tireless cock.  Metaphorically speaking (I hope), there’s some of the Dark Lord’s penis in all of us, and from what I understand, it only makes its presence known when a dirty dick is balls deep in Seraphim snatch.

Plough my holy holes

I have it on good authority that the Devil’s loins are breathtaking to behold and terrible to turn your back to… but that it neither here nor there.  I guess Mondays bring out the blasphemous heretic in me.  Anywho, the above chick looks– (continue reading…)

Now here’s a woman that enjoys taking a hard pull off a spunk-blunt.  Look at this wee blondie go.  And those eyes, so fucking intense: their look alone could make a man bust balls and order a second round of spluge from his already overtaxed testicles.  Yep, there’s no doubt about it, she’s got the eye of the cock smoking tiger!

This prime example of a blowjob gone great is taken from the oddly named DVD, Cherry Poppers 8: Homecumming; I don’t know about you, but to me, this babe works pole like– (continue reading…)

Have you ever been upstaged?  Well, if you haven’t, let me tell you, it sucks!  The below clip from the appropriately named Hey Gang! Teach Me To Bang! 2 is a shining example of being, well, outshined.

As you can see, buddy first up to bat is having some troubles keeping his erection: maybe it’s the pressure of fucking on film, perhaps he just blew his load a moment ago, or maybe his lack-luster hard-on is the result of sticking his dick in a hole still warm from the last dick it just ate a second ago.  Whatever– (continue reading…)

So you and your buddy pool your money together and get an escort.  In an ideal situation you’d each have your own, but hey, times are tough with the economy and all.  Good news, you so happen to be on the ball that day and call ANAL, leaving vaginal for your friend by rights.  The escort quickly puts the kibosh on your backdoor intentions, seeing that she’s getting the same pay for twice the work.  She’s calling the shots, and declares that she’ll blow the both of you, and for being cheap, it must be a concurrent double suck.

Here’s your options: send her back from whence she came and deal with your dry, disappointed, and somewhat surly cock; or, put your mixed feelings aside and accept her offer, knowing that your schlong will surely bash against penis bulkhead not– (continue reading…)

As a mother fucking ninja and as a mother fucking black man, I appreciate platinum blondes on so many levels, son.  First off, as a triple-black black-belt, I dig these girlie’s poetic motion, their limberness and general ass-kickery.  And as a black man, I value their lily ying to my low swinging yang.

Just look at this little Philly here from Sweet Little Baby Faces 2 takin’ ‘er medicines like a champ.  My only mother fucking criticism has to be dat de dick is in de wrong mothering fucking hole.  You know if– (continue reading…)

Gawd damnit, son, dis girl be tight, she still be tight when she be well into 80s, and you know, I be coming around then to hit that geriatric sweet thang.  Hands down, Sharon Stone be one of ‘em immortals; hot back in the day, hot now, and hot when she be old and sick.

I'm pretty special

I remember da first time I saw ‘er flashing that slit in Basic Instinct.  I remember it well.  Der I was in the theatre, and BLAT, BLAT, big blonde pussy on the screen.  Me wood nearly bust through my pants.  I had to tear a hole– (continue reading…)

I like looking at a beaver and it being a beaver, not merely some honeyed slit.  Give me bush, let that bush start two inches below the bellybutton, wrap around the gash, fan-out around the asshole, and  stretch halfway up to the small of her back.  And let it stink like a salty armpit all the way around.  That’s was sex is about, dropping pretenses and going feral.

Take a good long look at this girl’s hairy undercarriage (from ATK Natural & Hairy 10).  Now imagine what this strip of heavenly delight would be like if it– (continue reading…)

Yes sir, dis is what BB Jones be all ‘bout! Oh fuck, me be busting nuts just peeking at that bubble bounce. I best be slowing down the stroke before I spend my seed all over my nice new keyboard (you mother fuckers don’t want to know how many I go through in a year. Damnit son, I must have super glue for spunk).

Dis ‘ere clip be taken from none other than Gluteus Maximass, the movie.  Fuck, the only ding I like more than a big round thing in my face is when that rump be belongin’ to a– (continue reading…)

—not that I’ve ever thought otherwise, but irrefutable proof is always nice.  When I look at a girl like this, with a pair of healthy boobs and flaxen hair, something profound happens to me inside.  It’s as if a million atomic bombs suddenly explode in the “Happy Centers” of my brain, not destroying what is there, but exponentially multiplying the elation felt, sending synaptic lightening bolts down my spine to my balls, charging them with energy as bright as burning white phosphorus.

You know, I’m pretty, like, incendiary

I don’t know about you, but I could look at a woman’s ass all day long and still want to eat spaghetti out of its crack, even after the ass in question has just gotten back from a week long camping trip.  Not to say that– (continue reading…)

Listen up, hommies.  Black Belt Jones is gonna let you in on a little mother fucking secret: Ladies love ‘em sloppy facials.  Take a good hard glander at dis ‘ere philly; she be elated over ‘er streak of de man oil.  She knows that it be great for ‘er hair and fantastic for ‘er complexion, not to mention a badge of honor on her bed sheets.

Sir, I'd like some more, please

So next time you’re about to pop a nut-cap in her ass, think twice.  You may be wasting your monster load.  Hands down, pull that mother fucking cock out and plant your– (continue reading…)