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Tag: beaver

Smoked Beaver Pie

by on Mar.03, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

The below clip is taken from the original Deep Throat, which is perhaps the most famous porno film of all time—not to mention the most profitable (adjusted for inflation, it has grossed over 600 MILLION dollars).   And you know what, this shit is still awesome: funny, strange, kinky, and yes, good for a hard crank.

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Straight up, Linda Lovelace–not shown above–was a fucking sweetheart, sweet and cute and dirty and had no bottom to her mouth.  What she did with a foot long cock is still a high water mark for extreme blowjobs; in fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her equal, which is saying a lot seeing that I watch dozens of BJs everyday…  I need help. I need an another set of balls.

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Teen lesbians: dive, dive, dive

by on Feb.19, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

I’m gonna level with you: I’m not a terribly picky dude, and when it comes to lesbians, I like ‘em big, I like ‘em old, I like ‘em nasty, I like ‘em rainbow, and of course, I like ‘em barely legal.  Do I have a favorite?  You know what, I don’t know.  It all depends on what kind of mood I’m in really.

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The above clip is from Teen Lesbian Stories, and frankly, today being Friday, I am just in the right spirits for some hardcore pretty and petite muff divers diving.  Look at that wee lass munch fur pie!  Now that’s how one gets a hairball, but hell, it’s worth hacking up a grisly mess later on to face love that friendly beaver.  Wouldn’t you agree?

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Art is fun

by on Feb.09, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Check out the below clip from the movie Art Core.  Pretty smokin’, eh.  That being said, I want to know, exactly, what fucking art school is being depicted here; furthermore, what is its admission policy?  From what I can tell, being a tight Asian or a hung fella doesn’t hurt your chances of getting in, that’s for fucking sure.

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All joking aside, I truly dig these art house porno flicks.  One part kooky idea, one part banging beaver, all fun: what’s there not to like about them, seriously.  It might not be high art, but then again, what is?  Have you seen what passes for art these days?  A pile of garbage—that’s art.  A giant hamburger—that’s art.  A photograph– (continue reading…)

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She’s got a hairy one!

by on Dec.08, 2009, under Adult Video Reviews

Not all muffs are created equal: some are petite, barely a shadow, and a shy one at that; some are average, healthy, not too cold, not too hot, but just right; and some are glorious, a veritable garden of pubic delights–wild, tangled, and humid, like the Cambodian jungle during a heat wave.  Frankly, I likes my beaver pelts like I likes my aliens, terrible to behold and most certainly about to kill me.

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Take the above bush, for example, from the aptly named movie Furry Snatch.  Now that’s a happy fleece pie!  It’s pussy as God intended, mysterious, no doubt fragrant, and a-boning.  You encounter– (continue reading…)

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Hairy Amateur Teen Poon

by on Nov.10, 2009, under Adult Video Reviews

I like looking at a beaver and it being a beaver, not merely some honeyed slit.  Give me bush, let that bush start two inches below the bellybutton, wrap around the gash, fan-out around the asshole, and  stretch halfway up to the small of her back.  And let it stink like a salty armpit all the way around.  That’s was sex is about, dropping pretenses and going feral.

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Take a good long look at this girl’s hairy undercarriage (from ATK Natural & Hairy 10).  Now imagine what this strip of heavenly delight would be like if it– (continue reading…)

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