The below clip is taken from the original Deep Throat, which is perhaps the most famous porno film of all time—not to mention the most profitable (adjusted for inflation, it has grossed over 600 MILLION dollars).   And you know what, this shit is still awesome: funny, strange, kinky, and yes, good for a hard crank.

Straight up, Linda Lovelace–not shown above–was a fucking sweetheart, sweet and cute and dirty and had no bottom to her mouth.  What she did with a foot long cock is still a high water mark for extreme blowjobs; in fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her equal, which is saying a lot seeing that I watch dozens of BJs everyday…  I need help. I need an another set of balls.

I’m gonna level with you: I’m not a terribly picky dude, and when it comes to lesbians, I like ‘em big, I like ‘em old, I like ‘em nasty, I like ‘em rainbow, and of course, I like ‘em barely legal.  Do I have a favorite?  You know what, I don’t know.  It all depends on what kind of mood I’m in really.

The above clip is from Teen Lesbian Stories, and frankly, today being Friday, I am just in the right spirits for some hardcore pretty and petite muff divers diving.  Look at that wee lass munch fur pie!  Now that’s how one gets a hairball, but hell, it’s worth hacking up a grisly mess later on to face love that friendly beaver.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Check out the below clip from the movie Art Core.  Pretty smokin’, eh.  That being said, I want to know, exactly, what fucking art school is being depicted here; furthermore, what is its admission policy?  From what I can tell, being a tight Asian or a hung fella doesn’t hurt your chances of getting in, that’s for fucking sure.

All joking aside, I truly dig these art house porno flicks.  One part kooky idea, one part banging beaver, all fun: what’s there not to like about them, seriously.  It might not be high art, but then again, what is?  Have you seen what passes for art these days?  A pile of garbage—that’s art.  A giant hamburger—that’s art.  A photograph– (continue reading…)

I’m not going to lie to you: I’m a bush man.  LOVE THAT BEAVER! That being said, I can also appreciate a finely shaved clam; though, all things being equal, I’d take a muff pie over a bald bird any day of the fucking week.  Furry pussy, you are divine.

Where's the pit hair? Boo urns.

I don’t know what’s wrong with people today, saying big hair down there is gross, unclean and shit.  Yeah, sure, those hairs can trap in a few errant scents, but hey, that’s half the point.  I want to KNOW I’m– (continue reading…)

Not all muffs are created equal: some are petite, barely a shadow, and a shy one at that; some are average, healthy, not too cold, not too hot, but just right; and some are glorious, a veritable garden of pubic delights–wild, tangled, and humid, like the Cambodian jungle during a heat wave.  Frankly, I likes my beaver pelts like I likes my aliens, terrible to behold and most certainly about to kill me.

Take the above bush, for example, from the aptly named movie Furry Snatch.  Now that’s a happy fleece pie!  It’s pussy as God intended, mysterious, no doubt fragrant, and a-boning.  You encounter– (continue reading…)

Gawd damnit, son, dis girl be tight, she still be tight when she be well into 80s, and you know, I be coming around then to hit that geriatric sweet thang.  Hands down, Sharon Stone be one of ‘em immortals; hot back in the day, hot now, and hot when she be old and sick.

I'm pretty special

I remember da first time I saw ‘er flashing that slit in Basic Instinct.  I remember it well.  Der I was in the theatre, and BLAT, BLAT, big blonde pussy on the screen.  Me wood nearly bust through my pants.  I had to tear a hole– (continue reading…)

I like looking at a beaver and it being a beaver, not merely some honeyed slit.  Give me bush, let that bush start two inches below the bellybutton, wrap around the gash, fan-out around the asshole, and  stretch halfway up to the small of her back.  And let it stink like a salty armpit all the way around.  That’s was sex is about, dropping pretenses and going feral.

Take a good long look at this girl’s hairy undercarriage (from ATK Natural & Hairy 10).  Now imagine what this strip of heavenly delight would be like if it– (continue reading…)

I don’t know about you, but I’m a man who values variety.  Even if I had the option of eating the finest steak every night of the week, I couldn’t do it, not for any sustainable length of time, and I’m a fully blooded carnivore.  I would still need to punctuate my red meat with the occasion fowl.  And the same goes for my pussy!

I can’t devour bald bird month in, month out; I need some fucking beaver in my diet too.  In my books, it is either or.  There’s no middle ground.  Nothing is harder on the cock than twat stubble, or as I refer to it as: shaft-shredder.  Ouch!  Those– (continue reading…)

One thing is certain, celebrity beaver shots are worth a pretty penny.  Even this über furry full-frontal of Madonna, shot 30 years ago, is expected to fetch at least $10,000 when it goes up for bid at Christie’s auction house in February.  The picture, taken by Matthieu Humery, was part of series he shot of the young singer back in 1979.  He sold most of the photos to playboy, but kept this gem for himself.

Looks like she’s giving birth to Kenny G

Fuck, I can’t stop staring at that curly pelt.  And just look at those pits!  Madonna, you’re not so bad after all.  I dig it.  It’s scary how much I dig it.  Young, humble, tight, and hairy, it’s your best– (continue reading…)

Too bad this one never made it to television.