…And that’s the story I’m sticking with.  Extreme beauty is all about contrast.  Think about it.  What’s hotter than a super skinny babe with huge natural tits?  What’s sexier than a bleach blonde girlie with dark chocolate bedroom eyes?  What’s more angelic than an alabaster skinned redhead dotted with dark freckles?  As is also true with happiness, physical magnificence is made possible by opposites, highs and lows, blue eyes, black hair—breathtaking!

I also fight crime

Women like the one above have always reminded me of Wonder Woman.  Lynda Carter, who played the Amazon Queen– (continue reading…)

Inflation isn’t just about dollars becoming cents and a can of coke one day costing twenty grand.  Inflation affects everything, including sex.  What was once first, second, and third base are no longer the standard.  Hence, it comes as no surprise to me that jizz lubed ass fisting is the modern day equivalent of a handjob (and, in a way, it’s still a handjob).

and I'm holding a dildo in my hand too!

Today’s cock and pussy infested orgy is yesterday’s make-out party; today’s double anal is– (continue reading…)

Yeah, she be smokin’, but how much hotter would she be with a pair of double DDs strapped to her hard body frame?  Blat blat!  If you be thinking: out of this world, you son, are my homey.  “Make it round,” to quoth the immortal Sir Mix A Lot.

Jean cutoffs... these ones get a pass

Yeah son, there’s a place for small breasted women too, just not on my damn backyard.  Ya gotta pimp that shit out, add some– (continue reading…)

You know what I love the most about Hillary Scott–besides the whole girl-next-door-who-takes-it-up-the-ass thing?  I love that her Wikipedia biography begins with her “first lesbian encounter.”  Fuck, I wish my own personal story had a beginning like that!  Talk about a hook.

Of course I do my hair and makeup before masturbating!

(continue reading…)

I should have stayed in school

Now that’s what I call a big dick!  As far as I can figure, there are two major types of gaggers: showers and growers. Showers always look huge, even when they’re at rest; growers start off average then explode in size like a pissed-off Bruce Banner exploding into the Hulk.  Looks like this one is both a shower and a grower.  I wonder how this dude rides a bike.