I’m obsessed right now with the Slap Chop mostly because of Mr. Slap Chop himself, Vince.  Come on, we’ve all seen his commercial: skinny dude hocking his miracle vegetable slicer, flapping his mouth a mile a minute, dropping non sequiturs, amazing us with the versatility of his lousy wares.  I guess that now the screaming guy with the beard is dead, he’s the new Seen-On-TV fucker.

Anywho, this scene from Sorority Ass Jammers, for some reason, reminds me of our hommie, Vince.  It seems that buddy boy would be into this kind of shit, butt reaming some blue eye-shadowed slut to– (continue reading…)

We’ve all been there, eyeballing her puckered asshole, wondering if you may, if you might, just dump it in and let love sort out the ins and outs of it.  I’ve been tempted myself, oh boy, have I ever.  But, as a rule, one must ask before he sticks.  Sure, requesting to ream your dick into her bungus has gotta be one of the most awkward questions out there, but trust me, fellas, it’s worth the roll of the dice.

Yeah, you might get rejected, hell, odds are you will, but just imagine for a second if she says, “Go ahead, fucking full steam ahead—CHOO CHOO!”  Well then, off to the colonic races you go.  I believe the– (continue reading…)

Nothing aids analingus quite as much as a tongue stud.  Sure, there are other things that help the act in its entirety along, such as hygiene, position, and the asshole in question, but nothing can replace the lovely texture and tenacity of a tongue stud doing its jitterbug inches deep in twitching sphincter.

Eat your heart out, 1950s conservative America

The above being said, if you’re not in the habit of scrapping rectum walls with your tastier, my advise is to keep that tongue of yours bling free.  Besides giving shitter-love, having one of– (continue reading…)

I fucking love this time of year.  The trees are changing colors, the temperature outside is not too hot and not too cold, and for two weeks I have the liberty to dress up as any damn thing I want and take it to the bars—and not be considered a crazy person!  Fun times indeed!  And those slutty lady costumes, fuck, do I even have to mention the gratuitous skin I’ll see tonight on the dance floor!

All it is missing is a candle stick inside

Yep, Halloween is one great buzz.  That being said, some folks get carried away, get too festive for their own damn good, like Pat here in the above photo.  Where do I begin?  Is this– (continue reading…)

Yes sir, dis is what BB Jones be all ‘bout! Oh fuck, me be busting nuts just peeking at that bubble bounce. I best be slowing down the stroke before I spend my seed all over my nice new keyboard (you mother fuckers don’t want to know how many I go through in a year. Damnit son, I must have super glue for spunk).

Dis ‘ere clip be taken from none other than Gluteus Maximass, the movie.  Fuck, the only ding I like more than a big round thing in my face is when that rump be belongin’ to a– (continue reading…)

After seeing this chip, you may want to spay or neuter yourself to spare yourself from a lifetime of desire and disappointment.  FUCK, look at this little lassie work her junk! Shit this perfect should be a crime against humanity, seeing that now that I’ve seen flawlessness, there no way of unseeing it.

I guess I’m just going to have to get used to walk around with this iron-bodied cock, 24/7.  Man, what I would give to play a little jizz Plinko on that top shelf rump.  Yep, she’s– (continue reading…)

BB Jones never gets sick, never, but Is gots to tell ya, I had a bit of a mother fucking cold last week.  Boy-O, did I ever sneeze like a fool and everythang; it even messed up my round house, throwing me off balance and shit.  Then I got the cure.  It was starring me in the face the whole time: the anus of a golden haired backdoor skank.

Take this scene from The Art of Ass 3 for example.  See buddy boy there burying his sperm hose in that there behind.  I tell ya, tis a better medicine than– (continue reading…)

A woman’s asshole: the holy grail of penile adventurism, and once tapped, straight up, there’s no going back to JUST vaginal sex.  I think that’s why some timid women protect their bung’s virginity so fiercely; they know that once a man’s been inside that most gripping of passageways, that’s it, they’ll be after some bum lovin’ 24/7.

And is that such a bad thing?  Sure, it may be a little strange at first, even a little uncomfortable (especially if the cock in question is a biggie and the– (continue reading…)

A woman’s ass be one ding, but a man’s hole be another whole other fucking ballgame.   First off, it not be clean, son, not like a little petite’s rear fresh from da shower.  It be a soup of all dings nasty and dark and jumpin’, like a satanic jubilee.  It also be un-mother-fucking-predictable.  You never know when one of those butts gonna blow gas.  I know mine be blowing stink 24/7.

I hope this chickie be making good coin for this shit!  This clip is taken from Trombone Blown 7! Yeah mon, they’re– (continue reading…)

Anal isn’t like oral, or even vaginal for that matter.  Butt stuffing involves a few extra steps, the two biggies being lube-up and warm-up.  Without a good amount of slick on that dick and some preparatory sphincter yoga, that bloated and throbbing cock-head isn’t going anywhere.

Anal Extremes is an excellent example of the sodomy prerequisite. See how he gets one– (continue reading…)