I don’t know how lesbian couples manage it, all those feminine emotions slurping and grinding off of each other in a stew of estrogen, pussy juice, and anxiety.  As much as I love—LOVE—the idea of girl-on-girl action, it’s hard for me to actually fathom their day to day bullshit, the clinginess, the bitchiness, and I won’t even mention the monthly double dose of PMS.

We're really really close, all the time

I know what you’re thinking: Who cares about lesbos when they’re not wrist deep in elastic hole!  Hey, I’m with you.  I’d rather not think about these banalities, but my curiosity, my need for a little context in my masturbation, demands I– (continue reading…)

God, I love real girl on girl on girl twat bashing, munching, and stuffing.  Sure, professional screen lesbians have their place too, but there’s something raw about ladies eating poon totally for enjoyment, and not just doing it for a quick buck.  Granted, some of the babes are less than a perfect 10, but even that’s a bonus for me, flawlessness being too clean of a thing for a dirty jerk.

This clip is taken from Aussie Couples 8 and is an excellent example of amateur porn gone right.  Despite less than– (continue reading…)

I like looking at a beaver and it being a beaver, not merely some honeyed slit.  Give me bush, let that bush start two inches below the bellybutton, wrap around the gash, fan-out around the asshole, and  stretch halfway up to the small of her back.  And let it stink like a salty armpit all the way around.  That’s was sex is about, dropping pretenses and going feral.

Take a good long look at this girl’s hairy undercarriage (from ATK Natural & Hairy 10).  Now imagine what this strip of heavenly delight would be like if it– (continue reading…)

Perhaps I’ve grown weary of modern porn, with its perfectly manicured orifices and it’s digitally enhanced everything; perhaps I’m just a hippy when it comes to getting down to bumping uglies, but I likes my poon like I likes my burgers—with all the fixings!

This is way I often find myself surfing retro porn, particularly the European classics like this one: French Sex Delights.  There are no pretenses here, no fake orgasms or faux moans of– (continue reading…)

She’s knocked-up, and good news—it ain’t yours!  And she’s horny.  So, what do you do?  A: Get-the-hell-out-of-there, fearing that the baby father might bust down the door any second and give you a-brainin’.  B: Fuck her in the bum, being concerned that your extra-long dick might induce labor.  Or C: Probe, plow, and creampie ever god damn hole in sight (like this fella here in the below sample).  It’s not like you’re going to get her pregnant.

If you answered A, a word to the wise: no guts, no glory.  If you answered B, your using your head, I like that, but I’m afraid you’re not terribly bright.  Now, if you– (continue reading…)

It’s counter intuitive, but pornstars don’t necessarily give the best blowjobs.  I’m willing to wager every penny I’ll ever make that the best cock-smoker on the planet is some overweight homebody, farting up the couch some place nobody would expect, like in Fargo, North Dakota or Hohhot, Inner Mongolia.

So when you hear the term “amateur,” by no means does that equate to poor quality; in fact, in most case what you’ll get is top calibre dirty.  Case in point, take a– (continue reading…)

Have you ever said this to yourself?  Come on, sure you have.  Look how fucking baller it would be to a well-holed girlie in a lesbian gangbang.  All you’d have to do to find yourself in this best-possible-situation is show up a lesbo bar and holler: who’s in?  The next thing you’d know, you’d be wrist deep in sweet lady love.

Seriously now, if you had one sexual wish, wouldn’t you want to be one of these ladies in T&A Chicks 10th Anniversary, getting your hood serviced by a legion of clit happy muff divers.  Personally, I’ve been asking Santa for this for years now, and I think I’m out of options.  Woe is me.

Folk wisdom 101: nothing is what it seems.  Always watch out for the little guy in a brawl, he’s the vicious one; always pick a good girl over a bad girl for a BJ, ‘cause frankly she’ll always want it more; and finally, never underestimate the depravity of the conservative, they will fuck you and have horse you rode in on (if it must be, hopefully it happens in that order).

Be my guest and take a hard look at this spectacled mother of many working happy inches of bloke dinky.  What she lacks in contact lenses she more than– (continue reading…)

Many interesting things happen in a locker room, and most of them awfully gay.  Take the much fabled “eating the cracker” thingie, for example, where sexual endurance is ironically and disgustingly punished.  (If you’re not familiar with this rite of passage, let’s just say it involves a circle-jerk, one very semen drenched wafer, and one very unhappy camper.)  This is probably the worst of the locker room scene outside of the federal prison system.  Sure, there’s towel whipping, ass slapping, and I’m sure, the occasional toss in the washroom stall, but for the most part, no wild amateur interracial orgies take place…  OR DO THEY!  Allow me to introduce Couples Fantasy 5:

Here’s the proof that every now and then a spontaneous fuckfest breaks out in your local changing facility.  Look at ‘em cock smokers go— (continue reading…)

Here’s our DVD of the week.  Watched it this morning… jizzed in my pants… and car (just thinking about it)… and at my place of work (not proud of that). Girls Kissing Girls it’s pretty fucking good!  Here’s a taste.