I wonder if I get wifi here

Swiss Voters Ban Naked Hiking, Rashly.

Voters in the Swiss Alps have banned naked hiking after dozens of German nudists started rambling through their picturesque region with their dirty parts flapping sexily about in the clean mountain air. (continue reading…)

Why the fuck not? ...Oh... yeah...

We’ve all been there: walking with the misses, drunk, in public… horny as hell. No time to make it home or even to a washroom stall. Nope, this session is going down right here and now.

If you’re lucky, it happens in a place with some privacy. This, however, was not the case for the happy couple visiting Windsor Castle. They had an angry itch; they scratched in on the Queen’s front lawn. And the old lady was home (unfortunately though, she missed the spectacle). (continue reading…)

Boner meet Beach; Beach, boner

This is clearly a when-in-Rome situation gone terribly awry. Am I wrong or is the following common fucking sense: you find yourself in a room filled with naked people, you follow suit–with your birthday suit.

A Brisbane man didn’t think so, inciting a mini-riot at an Australian nudist/sex resort for failing to bare his balls and the rest of it
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Irony:1, Penis: 0

This story is not about a Lorena Bobbitt copycat; this particular trimming-of-the-hedges was purely accidental.

Here’s the rundown: A man in China was getting head from his secretary in his parked car. Everything was good; it was as good as a lunch break could get. Suddenly the vehicle was hit by a reversing van. (continue reading…)

Man, I love string!

Multitasking is a part of most occupations; in fact, having half a dozen things on the go at once is increasingly commonplace in today’s technological world. There are, however, limits to a man’s ability to focus.

So what is having too much on your plate? I know, getting a blowjob from a pornstar while flying a helicopter. (continue reading…)

Masturbation... close-combat weapon?

Dildo Mistaken for Lethal Weapon at Houston Airport

One question: how hard is it to read an X-ray? I’m fairly confident that I would be able to distinguish between a dildo and a gun, regardless how ethereal the image. One looks like a cock, the other replaces a cock. Well… maybe it is more difficult to tell the two apart after all.
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Kermit the Cock?

Police had to be called-in to an apartment complex last week in Washington State; apparently, stringing up your penis and using it as a puppet is crime when done publicly.

Wayne Martin, 44, was arrested after residents of a high-rise community reported a man, wearing nothing but an unbuttoned flannel shirt, standing over an air conditioner intake unit and manipulating his junk with cord, as if it were a puppet.
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Junk Food Made Me Do It!

Consequently creating the best headline, ever!

George Bartusek, the dude that got caught fucking two blow-up sex dolls in a grocery store parking lot in Florida, won’t be going to the clink, a court has ruled. He’s getting off with six month probation for his faux public threesome.
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Check your dicks at the door

Noticeable lack of double-anal category

Good For Her, a Toronto adult boutique retailer, presented its 4th Feminist Porn Awards on April 24th with great cheer. 12 awards were granted. (continue reading…)

What?! No Coke-Can-Cock: Short and Fat

Be careful of what you wish for.

A few months ago, a Russian man, identified only as Konstantin F., entered a plastic surgery clinic in Moscow bewailing his perceived fate as a small-penised-man; I guess a hard 6 inches simply didn’t fit his lifestyle, and he’d be damned if he’s go another day any less than tremendous. (continue reading…)