Don’t just make love, plough hole most heinously.  Ream that shit in, hard.  Have some other bitch harass your lay while you smash glorious nuts against tenderized clit.  Finger that asshole, not with your pinky, but with your whole goddamn torso.  And don’t forget to forget the lube.   That shit is for pussies, no pun intended.

The above clip is taken from the film Ravenous and is an excellent example of coitus correctus.  Ideal sex involves at least three people, two of which are female.  Perfect love involves puckered rectums meeting puckered kissers.  Outstanding relations begin with doggie style and end in chaffed cock-head, purple pussy skin, and yawning sphincters.  Hey, them the rules.  I’m just the messenger.