Her music is as uninspired as British cuisine, and she is a diva that us poor folk have every right to eat, but god damnit—that’s a proper rack! Okay, the below picture may have been altered in some small ways, but it’s an accurate approximation of what her titties may look like… and that’s the story I’m sticking with.

Who’s up for a game of Prison Bitch!

I’m not going to lie to you: I think Mariah, and divas like her, should all be packed into a rocket ship and blasted into the sun.  That being said, I’d still get my dick wet in one or all three of their lovable holes.  I know, I know: it’s a classic conflict of interest.  But– (continue reading…)