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Archive for January, 2010

Redheads love ‘em balls

by on Jan.27, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

There’re two things that should never be faked: Redheads and Ball Love.  The comely ginger in the below clip from ATK Red Delicious is the real McCoy on both accounts.  What a stunner!  And just look at the why she relishes that lucky sack as if she were Louis Armstrong and those dangling nuts were her trumpet.

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Beauty tea-bagged; I’m in love.  Freckles punctuated with cum splatter and dick sweat, that’s how I likes it.  No wonder there’re so many redhead fans in the world, with gingers– (continue reading…)

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Love the montage!

by on Jan.26, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

The only thing I dig more profoundly than a solid sex scene are dozens of sex scenes spliced together by the magic of modern editing.  What can I say, I’m the product of the music video generation; and thus, I likes my porn like I likes my training sequences: progressive, blistering quick, brutal, and time-lapsed.

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The above clip from Bottom Dweller Orgies is a good example of what I look for in a hardcore montage: many angles, many players, various penetrations, all presented at a decent pace.  My ideal– (continue reading…)

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Stink Finger Fridays

by on Jan.22, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Interesting sex will always involve errant aromas; it’s just the cost of doing business.  Straight up, you stick a finger up some chick’s asshole, it’s gonna come up smelling like shit—this ain’t rocket science people.  And I don’t care how clean the asshole in question is, the above is always true.

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My way of thinking, stinky smell is an integral part of letting the Id, your inner most animal, out to play.  I’m not saying I’d rather fuck in a barn than in a comfortable bedroom, all I’m saying is one must get dirty to get down and dirty.  Case in point, the above– (continue reading…)

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Milfs love ‘em petite teens too

by on Jan.20, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

My first lesbian encounter was indeed with an older lady.  Rose was my mother’s good friend and a regular fixture at our house on weekends.  I had just turned 18 and was starting to notice girls in a big big way.  One sunny Saturday, Rose and I had the house to ourselves—my folks were out running errands—and she caught me checking out her ass as she leaned over to pickup some fliers from the kitchen floor.  Before I knew what was happening, she was shoulders deep in my vagina, a whirlwind of lapping, sucking, and munching.

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It was amazing.  I must have came twenty times in the hour of lust we had on the tiled floor.  Rose must have climaxed as much as I did because we were– (continue reading…)

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Batter’s Up!

by on Jan.18, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

You gotta respect a gal that can use a baseball for a dildo—pretty fucking hardcore!  Who cares about a few splinters and an eternally loose pussy when there are overstuffed orgasms to be had?  This blonde from Shove It Up is a living example of the “slippery slope” masturbation theorem.

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She probably started whacking with her wee pinky finger, than her middle finger, then many fingers, then vegetables, then dildos, then larger dildos, then house hold objects, and now she’s in the garage, stuffing– (continue reading…)

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Ravenous, indeed!

by on Jan.16, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Question: Do you have sex like the fucking depicted in this video, snarling, fish hooking, having your dick licked while you plow juicy femme slit?  Being totally honest, I’ve had sex like this probably a handful of times in my life, once recently and the other times way back in the day before I de-evolved into the douche-bag that I am at the present moment.  Sadly, most people live their entire life without having a candid feral fuck, and for them, I dedicate this clip from Ravenous.  Hang in there, dudes, every dog has its day.

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Pretty badass, eh.  The fact of the matter is that anybody can have sexual relations like the above; all it takes is one part effort, one part– (continue reading…)

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I don’t think her asshole will ever be the same!

by on Jan.14, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

That’s one big dick and that’s one tiny girl with her proportionately tiny asshole.  Yep, this blonde petite from All Star Call Girls 3 is gonna feel this in the morning.  Talk about a hard day at the office.  I wonder what’s she was thinking while this scene was being shot?  This fucking sucks!?  Or: Now I know what it feels like to be a kabob!?

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Man, what a pooper trooper (I think I just invented myself some urban slang–hehe, pooper trooper)… (continue reading…)

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Aussie amateur lesbian orgy, anyone?

by on Jan.12, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

God, I love real girl on girl on girl twat bashing, munching, and stuffing.  Sure, professional screen lesbians have their place too, but there’s something raw about ladies eating poon totally for enjoyment, and not just doing it for a quick buck.  Granted, some of the babes are less than a perfect 10, but even that’s a bonus for me, flawlessness being too clean of a thing for a dirty jerk.

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This clip is taken from Aussie Couples 8 and is an excellent example of amateur porn gone right.  Despite less than– (continue reading…)

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The Suck and Jerk, a Modern Classic

by on Jan.10, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

Let me begin by saying that most girls do not have the oral fortitude to perform deep throat despite what porn producers would have you believe.  Just to put a rough number out there, I’d say that less than 5 out of 100 women can screw long dick with their trachea.  Luckily for us fellas, this is where the hands come into action, the blowjob’s trusty Lieutenants.

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This scene from Fresh and Pure is a particularly stellar example of mouth and hands working together to create a textural approximation of– (continue reading…)

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Of course they had legal teens in the 70s

by on Jan.08, 2010, under Adult Video Reviews

You better fuckin’ believe Black Belt Jones is all over this retro shit!  That’s where I’m mother fucking from, bitch.  I love it!  I love it!  The 70s, that’s when things where 100% real, son; real ladies, real bush, real tits, real barely legal Betties, and real kung fucking fu.  Here’s Diamond Collection 9, a real boner jam, for reals.

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Fuck, look at little red riding hood here, krumping that cock as if it were water and her pussy be on fire.

(continue reading…)

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