My way of thinking, if you’re going to eat some bitch’s ass, why be shy about it: get that mother fucking tongue way way up there; pretend that her bunghole is first pie on deck in a pie eating contest; break your nose on her gawd damn sphincter; make your tonsils miraculously touch rectum wall!  That’s how you eat an ass.

The chick from the above clip from Young Harlots Le Chateau knows what’s going on.  See how she completely disregards all pretence of civilization and goes after that puckered heaven-hole like a Tasmanian devil jacked– (continue reading…)

A Milf lesbo initiating a barely legal Betty into the fold is nothing less than the finest pussy poetry ever etched into the masturbatory annals.  The old/young combination really adds another dimension to the usual debauchery.  In one corner we have youthful enthusiasm and firmness, and in the other corner we have experience and big floppy boobies—it’s a match made in vulva smashing Valhalla.  Lesbian Seductions 8: well played, well played.

In this clip we get an exemplary dose of the goods.  Unlike the vast majority of the lesbian content out there, which is– (continue reading…)

Perhaps I’ve been working in porn for too long, maybe my meds aren’t as effective as they used to be, but when I hear or read the acronym “BFF” I immediately think of this: hot babes locked in a feral 69, labias and tongues lashing in a tasty head-in-arse embrace… and that’s the story I’m sticking with.

OMG, you smell like my old BFF

A friend will help a girl move, a best friend will help a girl move a body, a best friend forever will help a girl move her clitoris in wet orgasmic circles.  (continue reading…)

Happy Holidays, folks!  What a great day Christmas eve is: the turkey is cooking in the oven, presents are waiting under the tree, your glass is topped-off the moment you take the slightest sip, and it looks like your no-good Uncle has passed out early, which is great news ‘cause his old-ass wife is a real cocking sucking slut and you’re about to get a slice.

Nothing says Merry Ho Ho like banging the shit out of some mature babe in heat.  Forget about the egg-nog, pump her full of man-nog, and sit back and watch the Christmas cheer ooze down her legs in lovely gobs of goo.  Then– (continue reading…)

I’ve made it no secret; I’ve masturbated to a-many cartoon character in my day, and I’m not talking about the ones you’re suppose to spank to.  I’m talking about the Disney Princesses, I’m talking about Sailor Moon and her BFFs, I’m talking about Smurfette and her blue nether parts, and yes, I’m talking about Cheetara, one part Heavy Metal babe, one part animal, and all pussy.

Opps, looks like these two aren't spayed

Even today, with my insider’s skeleton key to all internet porn, I sometimes bust a girthy nut to the one and only Thundercat ho, especially since I heard that they’re making a live action version of the show, which I– (continue reading…)

Come on!  As if you wouldn’t smash mad snatch if you were in a position of power in the porn industry.  That’s all those dudes do.  Why do you think they get into the business in the first place: to snake their cocks down eager cash-strapped hottie hole.  It’s not prostitution; it’s making movies.  So next time you approach a hooker, don’t say you’ll pay her for sex, ask if she’d like to model in your POV porno; and if she’s an undercover cop, you’re in the clear (I think).

Anywho, check out this clip from Barely Legal POV 4.  Now that’s a happy rump.  Best casting call ever!  Ah, what a beautiful age: she just turned old enough to fuck on film and she’s taking to it with all her youthful enthusiasm– (continue reading…)

It’s not like females have a pair of pressure sensitive organs hanging out of their fucking torso all by their lonesome, prone to abject injury from the slightest tap or sideward stink eye.  Last night my old lady was trying to argue that being hit in the pussy is just as painful as being bagged.  Come on, there’s no bloody way: they’re not even in the same gawd damn league of hurt.

Every man living or has ever lived has had his nuts crushed by the malevolent universe at least once.  I clearly recall the first time I was sacked.  There I was, minding my own fucking business, when a softball from hell—one part leathery brimstone, one part malice—unceremonious crashed into– (continue reading…)

You’re not proud of the fact that you bang your buddy’s mom ever fucking chance you get, that you pump her so full of spunk that when she walks she leaks cream like a Boston cream donut slowly being crushed in a vice.  You simply can’t help yourself; her tits were made for fucking and that just what you’ll do.

As we can clearly see in the above clip from Hooter World, milfs do the boner good.  Sure, they might have a few rough corners, a wrinkle here, a polyp there, but on the whole you can’t go wrong with these seasoned– (continue reading…)

I wonder: can a healthy pair of science enhanced breasts safeguard a woman from injury in a car crash, much in the same fashion as airbags.  Probably not, and besides, wouldn’t that be a crime against all that is holy and good to earmark a beautiful rack for destruction, even if that means less head trauma?  Obviously this is question for the great philosophers of our time to struggle with.

Yeah, this is how I roll

The above being said, topless driving would certainly make the morning commute a hell of a lot more attractive.  Can you imagine if the vast majority of women all of a sudden give up their tops?  Now, I know– (continue reading…)

Boy, times sure have changed.  Today when people get together for a gangbang, they show up wearing little more than jeans and a T-shirt.  Where’s the decorum in that, the sexiness, the class, the sense of occasion?  Even in the eighties, the most tawdry of decades, folks had the good judgment to fix themselves up for an orgy.  Sadly, we’ve lost that.

Just look at the outfits in the above clip from Golden Age of Porn: Candy Samples: these individuals were the best of both worlds—wild and civilized, feral and domesticated, and as any– (continue reading…)