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What do you mean ‘she’s my breathalyzer’

by davycockett on Oct.12, 2009, under Fuck-toids

You’re hammered, it’s 3am, the bar you’re in is about to turn on the houselights, and you’ve got a hard-on in your pants so fucking ready to go, it’s oozing pre-cum right along side run-of-the-mill cum.  Time to nut up and pick up.  Problem #1: You’re too wasted to act like a normal human being, let alone be charming.  Problem #2:  Most girls in the place have already hooked up, even the less-than-average ones.

post-15-1067985809Problem #3: Even the ugly and fat chicks are being talked-up; this is what happens when you go to a bar called Lowered Expectations.   Problem #4: Any standards you once had–– have been sterilized by that bottle of Rye working its way through your vascular system.  Add this shit up, and you’re taking home the nastiest bush pig West of Wales.  But hey, it still beats smacking your dick against a leather jacket (assuming she doesn’t shit your bed).

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