Off topic: Sequels that should be made
by davycockett on Oct.07, 2009, under Fuck-toids
The following is a brief list of sequels that Hollywood should totally make. With any luck, some studio douche bag will pick-up on this post and get those plagiaristic wheels in motion.
1. Brokeback Mountain 2: The Fur Traders
Okay, this one is a no-brainer. Every dude I know—hell, every woman I know too—would so pay to see this film. Throw in a couple of light sabers, and you’ve got the highest grossing movie of all time, guaranteed.
I can't quit your vagina
2. The Great Outdoors 2: Zombie Attack!
John Candy is dead; it’s a problem; I can’t think of any one alive today who could fill those fat man shoes. Solution: dig up John’s corpse, run some strings through what’s left of it, and cast him as an undead brain eater. Problem solved.
3. More Snakes on a Second Plane
My man Samuel needs another pay day.
I needs to get paid!
4. Being John Malkovich’s Choda
See life though Mr. Malkovich’s choda, that intense stretch of skin connecting his balls to his anus. Be amused as it is possessed by second parties. Costarring: Morgan Freeman, Elizabeth Taylor, The Jonas Brothers, and Zombie John Candy.
5. Blade Runner 2: Nothing is Sacred
This film is a BIG FUCK YOU to anybody who’s ever loved a movie. They’ve ruined Star Wars, they’ve ruined Indiana Jones, why not go for the other classics. 2012 is right around the corner: let’s all dance in the flames.
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