I fucking love this time of year.  The trees are changing colors, the temperature outside is not too hot and not too cold, and for two weeks I have the liberty to dress up as any damn thing I want and take it to the bars—and not be considered a crazy person!  Fun times indeed!  And those slutty lady costumes, fuck, do I even have to mention the gratuitous skin I’ll see tonight on the dance floor!

All it is missing is a candle stick inside

Yep, Halloween is one great buzz.  That being said, some folks get carried away, get too festive for their own damn good, like Pat here in the above photo.  Where do I begin?  Is this– (continue reading…)

Yes sir, dis is what BB Jones be all ‘bout! Oh fuck, me be busting nuts just peeking at that bubble bounce. I best be slowing down the stroke before I spend my seed all over my nice new keyboard (you mother fuckers don’t want to know how many I go through in a year. Damnit son, I must have super glue for spunk).

Dis ‘ere clip be taken from none other than Gluteus Maximass, the movie.  Fuck, the only ding I like more than a big round thing in my face is when that rump be belongin’ to a– (continue reading…)

I’m a HUGE James Bond fan.  I’ve seen every one of the 22 Bond films, in most cases at least half a dozen times each, and I gotta say that Eva Green is by far the sexiest fucking creature to ever swing off 007’s perilous cock.

God retired from boob-making after he forged this pair

Before I saw Casino Royale, I had seen Eva in Ridley Scott’s Kingdom of Heaven, but it wasn’t until I saw her decked out in formal modern garb, that little black dress, that– (continue reading…)

The thing I love about Anime/Hentai is that it is so god damn realistic.  Just look at this little Philly riding the cream-rod carousel, with her 24 inch waist and her 50 inch perfectly perky chest, eyes beaming like a pair of halogen car lights.  I knew a girl like this one in college, and then I woke up, drenched in spunk from the wet dream that I could have sworn was real.

This chip is taken from Boin Lecture 2, a film concerned with two things and two things only: reaming elfin poon and toggling sand dollar sized nipples.  Unlike in most Japanese– (continue reading…)

This guy is my hero!  Dude has his priorities straight.  His fucking house is on fire, and it’s bad.  Hell, he has to get evacuated through his god dawn apartment window.  And look.  Escaping with his life isn’t enough.  For this guy, life without his 30 pound brick of porn simply isn’t worth the hassle of saving his own skin.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: the blueprints for the fucking Death Star better be on that hard drive.  Nope, it’s just porn.  But hey, masturbatory aids are– (continue reading…)

The clip below from Big Wet Tits 2 exemplifies wet head!  Just look at it, look at how obscenely fucking drenched dude’s cock and balls are, behold their awesome sogginess, their slick countenance.  It may look a tad gross, with its slimy webs and its mirror like glaze, but you know that’s gotta feel like a million bucks.

I think what’s going on here is that buddy’s schlong has been lubed by many sources, mainly spittle, oil, and pre-cum, and perhaps some leftover bacon grease (and she’s no vegetarian).  Whatever the– (continue reading…)

—along comes the Vampire themed Fleshlight, the gothic man’s masturbatory companion. Personally, I can’t think of a worse place to put your dick than in a hole crowded with fangs, but hey, that’s just me. Apparently, there’s a scene for this kind of shit nowadays.

I'm not here to suck your blood

With the wide spread popularity of such pop culture oddities like Twilight and True Blood, brooding vampires are the new fucking Elvis.  As fads go, I’m cool with– (continue reading…)

…you find your wife being gangbanged by a room full of hairy creeps, as seen here in this clip from Sodomania… and then some!!! Or is it?  Sure, your initial response would be to hit the road, but hold on there, fella.  Think about that for a second; specifically, think about the mad pussy you’d get as a swinger.  She would owe it to you to get you laid.   And those sex clubs, you can’t get into those places without a loose lady on your arm.

Hell, she could be your own personal pimp, setting you up with a harem of horny babes as if you were a fucking Sultan.  Plus, you still have a wife for, you know, wife things like family– (continue reading…)

Have you ever looked at a pair of smokin’ babes on the street and said to yourself, “Fuck, behind closed doors I bet those two eat each other’s pussies like wild fucking boars.”  Or perhaps you didn’t verbalize your perverse suspicions, but merely allowed them to bloom into a beautiful daydream.   Whatever the case may be, wishful thinking is making a big big come back.

Just the other day I couldn’t help thinking that the two baristas working behind the counter at Starbucks were more than just co-workers, friend, but were– (continue reading…)

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about the futility, the abject stupidity, of sucking off a fucking piece of plastic, but I feel that I need to reiterate myself, especially when suddenly confronted with a clip like this one where an otherwise AWE-INSPIRING blowjob is wasted on a gawd dawn doorstop.

The above scene is taken from The Asylum, a particularly fantastic movie featuring Bondage, S&M, and everything fetish; it just a shame that the players within had to have a run-in with– (continue reading…)