Straight up, there’s nothing worse than being tailed by a mob of man sized sperm that are acting in pantomime.  Happened to me once in Amsterdam, nearly caused an ovum riot in the red light district.  Luckily for all involved, my spunk was far too stoned to cause much damage, just a few scared pros and an indiscriminant peppering of walking hazards.

The above being said, Durex is on their A-game with their viral marketing commercials.  This shit is funny.  Granted, spunk, the white stuff, Captain Cream, spluge, gak, man-goo, man-nog, penis snot, semen is inherently humorous, it being the wayward banana peel of the coitus comedy, but this does not mean– (continue reading…)

If retro, golden age smut is your cock’s delight, look no further, this is the diamond dick standard in vintage crank.  The vast majority of Alpha France Corp films were made in the early 70s, shot on actual 35mm film, and were publicly released in French movie theaters, but don’t let that mislead you, these flicks are ball busting hardcore fare; there just happens to be some talking and plot between the highly stylized cinematic fuck making.  Here’s a clip from Crazy Girls in Heat.

Note the attention paid to mise-en-scene (the set, props, costume) and editing; real thought and planning went into this film, something which is sorely lacking in– (continue reading…)