Nothing quite measures up, in potency and vigor, to a hardcore smut video medley, and mark my words, this is the future of porn.  With attention spans becoming shorter and shorter, soon no one will have the patience or time to watch five minute blowjobs or ten minutes of reverse cowgirl action?  A few choice seconds of each act of fuckery and a B-line to the cumshot is all one really needs, and economy is the name of the game when jerking-on-the-go.

The face of masturbation is changing.  With smart phones and mobile porn, people won’t merely be tossing in the comforts of their bedrooms or offices, but– (continue reading…)

Growing up is tough, especially when you’ve gotta get rid of some slut’s corpse.  Yep, it’s an age old story, picking up a pro while visiting the big city on your birthday, things get crazy, she ends up dead, and you’re stuck with the cleanup.  Fate sure is funny sometimes, but that’s okay, your older brother is there to bail you out; this isn’t the first time that one of the Hardy Boys has had to take out the trash.

Naturally, these upper crust kids thoroughly cover their tracks.  They have even taken the precaution of framing their– (continue reading…)

…because some things just don’t belong buried in a cunt.  Case in point, Lollipop Lesbians: Disk 1.  From my understanding, refined sugar in a vagina is a big no no.  Boy, is this girl gonna be bashful explaining to her gynecologist why her pussy is so sick yet so delicious tasting.

I say leave food for the mouth and dick, and an assortment of non-food found items, for the snatch.  You’re not gonna get bacterial issues from a pool cue or from a bundle of drumsticks (assuming that they’re clean, of course).  Fuck, call me– (continue reading…)

Folk wisdom 101: nothing is what it seems.  Always watch out for the little guy in a brawl, he’s the vicious one; always pick a good girl over a bad girl for a BJ, ‘cause frankly she’ll always want it more; and finally, never underestimate the depravity of the conservative, they will fuck you and have horse you rode in on (if it must be, hopefully it happens in that order).

Be my guest and take a hard look at this spectacled mother of many working happy inches of bloke dinky.  What she lacks in contact lenses she more than– (continue reading…)

I’ve eaten a thousand labia fish fries and a thousand clitoral rosebuds that were rose like in everyway, and I gotta say, I’ll take a health stink over a floral stamp any fucking day of the week.  I blame the fragrance industry for putting fear and treacherous conclusions into a woman’s nose; all for the sake of a few lousy billion bucks, the smell houses have convinced the vast majority of people that pussy smell is foul, while it’s actually sublime, the hallowed reek of creation getting jiggy with itself.

So I’m putting out the word, right here, right now.  Women, the two of you who read this blog, stop washing that lovely clam of yours, sit it out in the sun for while, let it cook in its own– (continue reading…)

Flawless skin, glowing doe eyes, pinkness that doesn’t lick off, teen lesbians are where it’s mother fucking at.  Look at these two in Her First Lesbian Experience 6; they are nearly GODS.  BB Jones has seen some of dis action in his daze, for reals.  At this party in the Bronx I did witness a clam-on-clam scissor kick of epic proportions; these two freshly legal thangs trying use each other’s legs to rub their hoods off as if their pussies be on fire.

Yeah son, I saw it go down and I jizzed in my pants, told these two fools beside me what I had just done and they wrote a mother fucking song about it.  How about that!  Those mother– (continue reading…)

Call it what you will, anal-oral sex, rimming, rim-job, salad tossing, butt licking, ass eating, at the end of the day, there’s no disguising the fact that it’s the best thing to happen to sex since foreign objects.  That being said, it’s not for everyone.  But I’m curious; I know I’ll eat a five course ass meal with ass appetizers and ass for desert, but what the rest of the world?  I want some numbers, statistic that I use in polite conversation.  Come on, folks, let’s be honest here!

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…well, sort of.  They clean each other in the living room, on the couch, not in some dank dungeon (moved out of the dungeon last year), and as a rule, they do their grooming at night for privacy, free of voyeuristic creepy dudes in hooded cloaks, unless you count Halloween time, in which case, they are surrounded by creepy dudes in hooded cloaks, myself included.

This clip is from the film Underworld, which is a 4 scene collection of “dark and dialogue-free sex vignettes.”  Spot on!  Who needs talking when there’re assholes to eat and– (continue reading…)

Straight up, there’s nothing worse than being tailed by a mob of man sized sperm that are acting in pantomime.  Happened to me once in Amsterdam, nearly caused an ovum riot in the red light district.  Luckily for all involved, my spunk was far too stoned to cause much damage, just a few scared pros and an indiscriminant peppering of walking hazards.

The above being said, Durex is on their A-game with their viral marketing commercials.  This shit is funny.  Granted, spunk, the white stuff, Captain Cream, spluge, gak, man-goo, man-nog, penis snot, semen is inherently humorous, it being the wayward banana peel of the coitus comedy, but this does not mean– (continue reading…)

If retro, golden age smut is your cock’s delight, look no further, this is the diamond dick standard in vintage crank.  The vast majority of Alpha France Corp films were made in the early 70s, shot on actual 35mm film, and were publicly released in French movie theaters, but don’t let that mislead you, these flicks are ball busting hardcore fare; there just happens to be some talking and plot between the highly stylized cinematic fuck making.  Here’s a clip from Crazy Girls in Heat.

Note the attention paid to mise-en-scene (the set, props, costume) and editing; real thought and planning went into this film, something which is sorely lacking in– (continue reading…)